New Emotions
by Chi-Blocker
Summary: A one-shot in Hikaru’s point of view. It’s the part of the episode 'Operation Haruhi and Hikaru’s First Date' where Hikaru is trying to find Haruhi in the thunderstorm.


**Okay. So. Basically, this is from the episode _Operation Haruhi and Hikaru's first date! _It's the scene right after Tamaki calls Hikaru's cell and screams at him for being an idiot. This is my favorite scene in the whole anime. It pwns.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.**

* * *

How was I supposed to know?

How the hell could anybody, let alone _me_, figure out her subtle messages?

It was impossible for anybody to pick up things like that.

Then why, I asked myself as I tore down the streets, calling out Haruhi's name, did I blame myself? Why?

"Hm… No, I'm sorry. I haven't seen her," a woman said. It was basically the same thing that I'd been hearing for the past twenty or so minutes. How could anybody _not _see Haruhi? She was just so cute… With her pigtails… And her irresistible flat-chestedness…

_Stop it, Hikaru! _I screamed in my head. I was an idiot. I'd left her—Haruhi—alone. And in a thunderstorm! I was a sorry, pitiful excuse for a Host Club member.

These thoughts pounded through my head as I raced down the streets. They screamed and berated me. Ripped at my skull and tore the flesh from my face. Bore down upon my shoulders like the weight of the world that Atlas had to hold up.

I had to find her. I just _had _to.

And when I did, I would wrap my arms around her, whisper in her ear that it was alright, nuzzle my face into her sweet-smelling, cropped brown hair.

That is, if she forgave me.

_You're getting ahead of yourself, Hikaru! You have to actually find her first! _I scolded myself.

By this point, my breath was coming in short, pitiful gasps. I really needed to work out more.

My side ached, but I didn't stop. I ran and ran until my lungs felt like they were about to burst. But still…

No Haruhi.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, weeks, years, I skidded to a halt by a church. No, I was not admiring its golden cross that peaked into the sky. The door was open, and there were puddles in the entryway. Haruhi.

I pushed open the heavy wood door, peering around. The stain-glass windows looked eerie without light shining through them. The pews were vacant and cold. To sum it up, it was rather dismal and empty.

I took a few steps inside, when I heard a frightened gasp. It was her. It _had _to be her. Please, oh please, let it be her.

"Haruhi? Hey! Are you in here?" I called out. There was no reply. "Haruhi?"

Suddenly, Kaoru's words from earlier echoed in my head. _You have to tell other people how you feel or they'll never know. And remember; whenever you care a lot for someone, Hikaru, it's important you pay attention to any subtle little hints they drop._

Instantly, I was reminded of Haruhi when she knew that I was upset over Kaoru. She just… knew. Perhaps I should have been more like her. More sensitive to other people's emotions and feelings. Maybe then… Maybe then I wouldn't be in this mess. More importantly, Haruhi would've been safe with the club instead of alone in a dark, lonely church.

As I stepped up next to the altar, I looked down. There she was. Even now, curled up, covering her ears, tears streaming down her face, shivering, she looked beautiful. So, so beautiful.

But she also looked scared and in desperate need of somebody to hold her. I was totally convinced that I was going to be that person.

"Haruhi…" I whispered, my face dropping and pity and remorse filling my eyes.

She slowly looked up at me and started to say my name, before a peel of thunder boomed. She nearly screamed, clenching her hands over her ears.

Quickly, I tore the white cloth from the altar, wrapping it around Haruhi's small body. Then I placed my headphones over her ears, hoping that it would block out the sound of the thunder.

Grabbing her by the shoulders, I pulled her body next to mine. "Sorry," I mumbled, not exactly sure what I was saying sorry for. Perhaps it was the fact that I was most likely squishing her. Or maybe it was the fact that it was a wee bit embarrassing to be crushed up against a boy who just left you by yourself in a storm.

"I'm sorry for running off and leaving you," I clarified. Her expression went from surprised, to relaxed and peaceful in a matter of seconds. It made me want to wrap my arms around her neck and bury my face in her short hair.

I didn't.

"And for the things I said. About your friend, Arai. I'm so sorry," I added, sounding really pitiful. I pretty much felt the same way, too.

Why the hell did I blow up in that poor guy's face? He did nothing. He obviously didn't like Haruhi in that way. And if he did, he certainly wasn't about to go around making love confessions to her.

No. I had been an idiot, and I simply need to accept the fact.

"Thanks, Hikaru," Haruhi said, cutting off my train of thought, "I forgive you." Her words surprised me so much. They were the last things I would ever expect to come out of her mouth. I knew that I certainly didn't deserve them.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again, a few stray tears dribbling down my face. I really hope that she didn't see them.

"I'm sorry," I whispered over and over in that church. Haruhi said nothing more. She just listened to the music and to my whispers with a small smile on her face.

Several times, I scooted a bit closer to her. If anyone were to ask me later on in life, I would simply say that it was to keep her warm. Right then, though, I knew that it wasn't. I liked Haruhi. I wanted to be closer to her.

This feeling… It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It wasn't love, but it wasn't hate. It was akin to regret, but at the same time, completely different. I cannot explain it, and I know that I never will be able.

But one thing's for sure: that night was the strangest, most wonderful, terrible thing to ever happen to me. I experienced more new feelings that night that I had ever experienced before.

"I'm sorry… So sorry…"

* * *

**And that's the end. xD**

**I had a lot of fun writing this. I actually wrote it at midnight right after watching my favorite episode of Ouran, **_**Operation Haruhi and Hikaru's First Date!**_** It really is a wonderful, sweet episode. Hikaru and Haruhi were always, and still are, my favorite pairing in the show. Tamaki and Haruhi are a close second, though.**

**I like to think that Haruhi will, one day, grow to love Hikaru. They seemed like they would eventually become very close. A budding relationship, to put it into words.**

**But then again, I know that that will never happen. Tamaki would most likely kill poor Hikaru. Either that, or he would go into a never-ending depression.**

**So, basically, Tamaki will end up with Haruhi. You knew it from the very beginning of the anime and the manga.**

**But… I'm just rambling. **

**-CB**


End file.
